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He wouldn’t want to be a mysophiliac (dirt licker), but he’d like to be friends with one. The difiler of decency chats about his feitsh-filled flick, A Dirty Shame. Here’s what we could print.

Best story on the DVD: Suzanne Shepherd (Big Ethel) first reads the script on the train to Baltimore — and sobs.

She was horrified. She had never seen a John Waters film. But she got sucked into group madness very quickly. She would’ve carved A Dirty Shame in her forehead, she was so into it by the second day.

The celebrity-on-airplane-toilet cameo — a harder sell?

Originally, I had Steven Seagal in mind, but reading about him, he seemed a little humor-impaired. I sent David Hasselhoff the script, and he said, ”Well, takin’ a dump and gettin’ on airplanes — that’s my life.” His wife and kids came to the set that day.

You were surprised by how accommodating the Harford Road residents were during filming. Why?

I remember an entire family posing around a tree that we had put a fake anus on, and that seemed liberal to me.

Besides adult babies, the fetish that creeps you out is. . .tickling?

I don’t get that. Somebody told me there’s a tickle top and tickle bottom. I watched a tickle porn movie just to see what it was — it was embarrassing to even watch it.

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